don't.fall to pieces][o p e n

[Sirius Black]

The flourescent lights reflected dimly off the old worn marble that was practically spotless because of the unuse that the bathroom saw. All things considered it was the perfect place to go, especially since it was hard to find a quiet corner in Hogwarts. It was the superb meeting place, but it could also be the best place to think because it provided the most shelter and even more isolation from prying eyes and ears. Plainly put very few would venture into a bathroom unless they actually had business that they had to carry out there. That was all exlcuding Sirius Black, who very often found a bathroom the perfect place to frequent when certain activities of questionable legality were concerned. Today one of those activities had brought him over to the bathroom on the sixth floor. Recently skipping class had turned into Sirius's favorite past time, today was no exception as he was currently hanging around in the bathroom on this floor waiting for the last set of bells to ring. He had no desire to go to potions today, so he got as far away from the dungeons as he could in the short amount of time that he was given to change classes. What he had really come here for more than anything was to relax and perhaps even unwind, it was something that he seldom got to do because he happened to be caught up in a lot of other things. Perched on a sink in the corner of the room, book bag sprawled beneath his feet, Sirius loosened his tie and plucked the first few top buttons open. The school uniform felt so restricting, especially when it came to breathing, he couldn't exactly breath easy until the tie was pulled from his neck, but by the messy knot that he had done up quickly this morning he wasn't prepared to do that yet. Besides there was still a few more class periods that he had to attend and that would mean that he would have to be in dress code, or at least some part of it.

Pulling at the corners of his shirt, Sirius untucked it as he pressed his face up against the cool yellowed tile wall in the bathroom. The sink was the perfect sitting place since it was rather close to the wall, or close enough at least so that Sirius could lean on the wall to keep his balance. The cooling feeling felt good after the long jog up the steps, not to mention the struggle to get here in the first place. Getting here was only half the fun, now the real action would begin shortly as soon as the last bell rang, than he would be in the clear zone. Right now, Sirius was looking out for any wandering Prefects or male students walking into the bathroom. He doubted either of the two would show because the place was known for its seldom use and constant isolation. Sirius was just glad to get out of the jumble of the hallways which had gotten worse in recent years as people seemed utterly confused as to which way they were going. As soon as the year progressed further in than the first years would finally be able to grasp the hang of things and possibly learn to get a better sense of direction. When navigating the hallways, Sirius sometimes found himself slipping through the passageways that they had found over the years when the crowds got really bad.

The last bell sounded loudly, echoing off the tile walls in the bathroom, and resounding through the stone corridors just outside the thin wooden door. Sirius could easily imagine the jumble of students a floor below rushing to class and praying that they got there on time. Being late was never a pleasant experiance especially when it involved a Hogwarts Professor. Heaving a sigh of relief, Sirius was happy to hear the last bell ring as it meant that he had probably gotten away again with skipping class, unless the Professor that he had next talked to the potions Professor again. It had happened on various occasions because Sirius was a frequent no show in one class and than always present in the next one. The pattern weaved in and out throughout his day depending on which classes he liked and which ones he hated. He made a point to skip out on the ones that he thought were just plain boring. Given the benefit of being alone, Sirius reached into his pocket producing a pack of cigarettes. It was a chemical kind of relief that had the ability to sooth Sirius's nerves. Things had been getting sticky at home again and he wasn't willing to deal with it anymore. The end was very well there and he could see it in sight, he knew he was going to be kicked out soon because of the letters that his parents had been sending recently -- all had been howlers. Regulus loved to send his parents letters about which muggleborn girls Sirius had been sweet talking lately, which was one of the reason why the arguements had only proved to exceed in intensity. Yes things would only get worse from here on out as soon as Regulus spilled his guts about Sirius's latest ventures which included skipping class and getting detention for writing profanity on the walls. These were everyday occurances for Sirius, but his brother didn't know this because usually these happenings were kept between Sirius and the teacher that caught him. Than there was the small fact that he hadn't said more than two words to Regulus in at least the last three years. As far as Sirius was concerned the little prick had his head so far up his ass he only cared about obtaining some sort of power over people and than pleasing his parents and trashing Sirius in front of anyone who would stand around long enough to listen.

Knocking a cigarette out of the pack, Sirius replaced it in his pocket and stared blankly at the black and white tiled floor that stretched out before him. Placing the cigarette in his mouth he pulled the lighter from robe pocket and flicked it drawing the light up to his cigarette. The orange flame flared up and licked the edge of the cigarette before Sirius drew it away placing it back in his pocket. Taking a long pull on the cigarette, Sirius filled his lungs with smoke and held it for a moment before exhaling it and sighing in relief. He was definitely going to relax now.

[James Potter]

It wasn't that often that James Potter skipped class, despite what people thought. Sure, if he was feeling particularly restless one day or, maybe he just had a lot on his mind, he'd skive off and go outside or bother first years or something. But, unlike a couple of people he knew (namely Sirius) he didn't skip just because he felt like it. Not very often, anyway. It wasn't because he didn't want to - Merlin knows, he usually always wanted to, but something was holding him back. Guilt, perhaps? Maybe James Potter was actually starting to feel guilty about setting a bad example for the younger students, what with him being a prefect and all. Maybe what Lily Evans had said about his irresponsibility had gotten to him.

But maybe it was something else. Maybe it was that he'd only recently, this past summer to be exact, noticed how sad his mother looked when she'd found out he'd done something out of line. He hated how lost her eyes looked, how helpless she seemed as she looked at him after she'd found out what he'd done. Of course she'd been stern with him, but usually after his bashing she'd look at him, almost like she was truthfully worried about his future. His mother was a kind, beautiful, strong woman; he never wanted to see her look like that again.

Nonetheless, James didn't usualy do this. So he surprised himself, actually, when he turned left instead of right when on the way to History of Magic. He wasn't sure exactly why he'd picked this day to skip (or where he was going to go for that matter) ; he just hoped that because the skives were getting less frequent that his mother wouldn't be written to. He thought he'd explode if he saw that lost look in her warm brown eyes ever again.

James was pulled from his thoughts as he pushed open the door to the bathroom on the sixth floor. He blinked a bit in surprise at his own actions. 'Why in seven hells did I come here?' he asked himself and, his brow furrowed, he walked into the seemingly deserted bathroom, still a bit bewildered. 'I could've went anywhere.' he chastised himself grimly. 'The lake, the Quidditch pitch, the Common Room... but no, I picked the lavatory instead.' Still wondering what had made him come up the stairs, James was caught offguard a bit as a nauseating and almost scratchy scent caught his breath. Trying his best to hold back a hacking cough, James waved the now visible smoke out of his face before turning the corner. He was a prefect, after all, and if some nutty little first year was smoking, he'd have a couple house points from them...

Needless to say, he surprised (but not really) to find Sirius Black sitting there, smoking away. A frown flitted its way across James's face, before he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall opposite his friend.

"Padfoot, how many times do I have to tell you, you're going to get yourself killed." he said, his light frown still apparant on his handsome face. He knew he sounded a bit like Remus, but he couldn't help it. He hated his friend's habit, and didn't want anything happening to him.[/size]

[Sirius Black]

Sirius was perched on the sink in the far corner of the bathroom as far out of range from the door as he could get. He had seen several incidents last year where students had been standing or sitting to the sink nearest the bathroom door - they had definitely made easy targets for the swinging door and that never ended pretty for either party invovled. Besides there was solitude to be had at the far end of the bathroom were few people seldom strayed because of the great expanse of the room to begin with. Although the room was deserted and the stagnant air provided little breeze, it would still take some time for the cigarette smoke to carry outside the bathroom into the hall. Sirius knew that he had time and knowing this was perhaps what also added to his carefree attitude at the moment.

The door swung open, but Sirius didn't so much as flinch, it was easy to say that he almost half expected to be caught smoking in here. He hadn't been making lots of loud noises or anything but it was just the whole concept that he was actually sitting in a bathroom - one of the few places where privacy was never in abundance at Hogwarts with people coming in and out of it all day long. Leaning back on his perch, Sirius let grey eyes shift towards the new company that had just walked throw the swinging door. Blowing smoke throw his nose, Sirius couldn't but grin broadly as he realized that it was none other than James Potter. He knew his friend wasn't fond of skipping class, it was something that Sirius had picked up over the years, especially when he tried to get James to skip with him. "Well, well, well if it isn't Prongs the example-setter." Sirius chided laughing cheerfully as he pulled the cigarette from his mouth and discarded some of the ash into the sink that he was sitting on. Sirius watched as James walked deeper into the room, wondering if he were plotting anything - that might have been the only valid reason Sirius could think up as to explain why James Potter the Prefect wasn't in class today. Maybe he was after the same thing that Sirius now sought - some time to relax. Whatever the reason Sirius was still a little surprised to see him here especially since Sirius could hardly remember the last time that they had skipped class together.

The bathroom was in a fog now quickly filling up with smoke as Sirius took another drag of his cigarette and blew more smoke down towards his feet. He could practically read James's mind before he even spoke because he knew that the marauders had been on him for ages to quit but despite their pleas he didn't stop. The habit had now wittled down to just social smoking, but occasionally led to Sirius off by himself smoking - like today - sometimes it also graduated into the addiction that some people thought that it merited. But for now he had kicked all intentions of chainsmoking, even though they might appear again when he arrived at the wretched godforsaken house were the most noble and anicent house of Black called home. Although James was frowning, Sirius kept his grin intact, "Just a few more, maybe someday it will click." He shrugged batting more ash off the edge of the cigarette which was quickly burning to the stub. "What brings you here to this lovely isolated corner of bathroom?" Sirius inquired, cigarette still in hand.

[James Potter]

"Well, well, well if it isn't Prongs the example-setter."

Despite his frown, James made a face. Example-setter? Hmm, when had that particular title become of him? Rolling his eyes a bit, he observed his longtime friend, looking casual, yet mysterious as ever. "Merlin, don't say that." he chided lightly. "You make me sound like some sort of badly bred dog."

James's dark hazel eyes swept over the figure of his friend, whom looked relaxed, but still slightly tense. True James and the others chastised him for his smoking habits sometimes, but James was mostly glad it wasn't as horrible as Remus sometimes made it out to be. He knew how stressful Sirius's life was (how could he not know?) and therefore, that was reason enough to smoke sometimes. But quite frankly, it was giving him a headache and without a word, he pushed off the wall and strode over to the small window above Sirius's head and shoved it open, breathing heavily, melodramatically. "Thank Merlin!" Hoping to lighten the mood a bit, of course.

"Just a few more, maybe someday it will click. What brings you here to this lovely isolated corner of bathroom?"

Turning his attention back to his friend, James allowed a small smile to twitch at the corner of his lips. Stretching his arms over his head a bit, he gave a deep sigh and flopped down next to Sirius. "You tell me." he answered, sounding a bit bored. "Don't feel much like listening to a ghost talk about goblin wars for an hour and a half, I suppose." he said a bit dryly, cracking a smile. He was referring, of course, to the History of Magic class he was currently skipping. The day was stretching on and on it seemed, longer than usual. James wondered if perhaps it was because it was a Friday. There was a Quidditch match tomorrow and James was itching to get his hands on the Snitch and show Slytherin and Lily what he could do. Not that they didn't already know.

"You'd better knock that habit, you know." he pointed out in a light tone, letting his head fall back against the wall, his eyes slipping closed. It was much easier to breath now, with the open window above them. "Once you become the godfather of all mine and Lily's beautiful children you're going to have to set a good example." he stated, flashing a wide smirk.[/size]

[Sirius Black]

Sirius laughed at James's response particularly because of his mention of a badly bred dog. It was than that Sirius realized that the sarcasm must have escaped his tone in those few moments it took him to utter those lines. "Don't worry I know you're still on the right side." Sirius replied, he knew that the last thing James would probably do was give up their pranking, scheming, or rule breaking because right now that was all that they were living for - it was what was making their time at Hogwarts more exciting.

Knowing James's great dislike for the smell and the smoke that a cigarette produced he had busied himself trying to keep the smoke away from his friend blowing it in the opposite direction. Apparently his plan had been all but working as James had got up and pulled the window open. The window screeched open and the smoke begun to drift in the direction of fresh air, as the room begun to rid itself of the fresh thick coat that the cigarette smoke had caused. Sirius laughed a little watching James hang his head out the newly opened window behind him, "Sorry mate, there's no ventilation in here." Stating the obvious Sirius again looked around the bathroom where the air was now dense with a cloud of smoke. The cloud was almost thick enough to obscure normal eyesight, Sirius wouldn't have ever imagined that just one cigarette would cause so much smoke. He snickered at the idea of watching people walk through the door and getting lost in the fog.

Sirius grinned, so James was skipping out on his History of Magic class, that was change, usually they used that period as a free for all study hall which usually ended up becoming some sort of sitting room because everyone fell asleep anyway. "I think I'd take that any day over listening to Slughorn dout on the newest celebrity of the week." Sirius replied with a smirk. Over the years he had used History of Magic as a second sleeping period, easily nodding off as the ghost that taught the class had explained the notes in far to much depth. Despite his reluctance to stay awake Sirius still found himself listening to the lectures in his sleep perhaps that was why he was still able to get a passing for the class that he refused to stay awake in. Shaking some more ash off of his cigarette, Sirius took another drag watching as the paper begun burning closer to the filter, it would definitely be shot soon. Exhaling smoke away from James and the open window Sirius wondered vaguely if they would both be infumed with smoke when they left the room, probably.

"I'll believe it when I see it, Prongs." Sirius responded with a smirk, James definitely had guts going after Lily Evans. Sirius had never seen James so stuck on one girl before which might have been why he was so tempted to believe it right now, but he wouldn't make such an assumption before he saw Lily give her true consent - which would be at the theoretical wedding when it happened. The idea of Sirius setting a good example for anyone was a long shot, but by the time they graduated maybe there was a chance that he would become more mature - maybe not. He took a long last drag on his spent cigarette before snubbing it out in the sink. "Seen Snivellius lately?" Sirius asked suddenly, he was trying to remember what had happened the last time that they had pranked the crooked nosed Slytherin.

[James Potter]

"Don't worry I know you're still on the right side."

James flashed him a somewhat relieved smile, feeling a slight, invisbile weight suddenly lift off his shoulders. That had been a big fear of his when he'd been promoted Prefect; (why, he had no idea) that his friends would think he'd somehow go against them or turn them in. Of course, it was nonesense, but the fear had always loomed over the poor teenage boy's head. James watched with mild curiosity as Sirius tried his best to divert the smoke way from his friend. A small smiel twitched at the corners of his lip, appreciateively. Sirius knew that smoking bothered James, and he was glad that his friend had the decency to try and relieve him of it. Not that he doubted him.

"I think I'd take that any day over listening to Slughorn dout on the newest celebrity of the week."

James snorted and absently fiddled with one of the old rusty faucets near him. "No, the only person he goes on about now is Evans." he groused. "And since I'm so bloody horrible, he's planning on making her tutor me." Flashing Sirius a mischevious grin, he felt his heart flutter a bit at the thought of working clsoely with Lily. "Perfect opportunity, don't you agree?"

"I'll believe it when I see it, Prongs."

James flashed him a somewhat sheepish smile; Sirius knew all too well the deep and strange feelings he held for Lily Evans; he didn't hardly pay attention to other girls and it scared him, to be honest. Whatever this new feeling was when he saw her, though, he liked it. "You'll see it soon enough, I guarantee it." he promised with a smug grin, hoping to convince both himself and Sirius that it would happen. "She'll see the light soon enough."

"Seen Snivellius lately?"

This particular comment made James laugh lightly, and he shook his head a bit. Snape was always fun to mess with, especially if they were bored or in the mood to be pratty. Remus usually held them back if necessary, but Remus couldn't be there 24/7, now could he? Nevermind the absence of Remus, there seemed to be a rather odd absence of Snape, too. Giving a light frown, James shook his head. "Sadly no." he confessed to his friend. "Too bad, here I was looking forward to catching him somewhere and forcing him to washy his greasy hair."[/size]

[Sirius Black]

Sirius could see the relief in James's face when he had commented about him being on the 'right side.' Sirius knew for a fact better than anyone that James would never sell out his best friends, that was almost as likely as Sirius turning down a pretty girl or Remus being late to class. In the end he knew James to be a true Gryffindor with all the unfailing steadfast loyalty, all that although it might've seemed like crap at the moment that they were sorted, proved to be true. Even after James had made prefect nothing had changed except the amount of measurable tasks that they could now willingly get away without even risking the chance of detention now. If anything James's new promotion seemed to intensify the amount of trouble the marauders could cause on any given day within reason, they hadn't really been absuing his priviledges to their fullest extent because they still had James in mind. If they abused said priviledges too much James would get his badge taken away.

"Must be your favorite class." Sirius commented with a smirk, he could see James listening eagerly to Slughorn babbling on about how brillant Lily was and how she needed to do this for the class or concoct this potion as an example. "Nice one, now let's see if you can get away with it." Sirius laughed at James's plan, he didn't know if his friend could pull it off but knowing James he would go to any extent to try to make it work. It still amazed Sirius how love struck he was over Lily, he was almost convinced to the point of believing all James Potter's fantasies about him one day marrying Lily Evans. Maybe if he heard every one of them once more he would be convinced that it would happen. But like he had said before, Sirius definitely wouldn't believe it in it's entirety until James and Lily actually said 'I do' to each other. Yes, that would be the day that would go down in history.

"I bet she will and it will be after you blow up a cauldron in her face because you are positively horrible at potions, Prongs." For once Sirius let out a stiffled chuckle at his own joke, he could easily James Potter blowing up a cauldron just to impress upon Lily that he didn't know a thing about what he was supposed to be doing.

"We'll have to find the greasy git later and make up for all the lost time that we could have been taunting him." Sirius grinned at the thought of all the fun things that they had done to Snape over the years. Strangely everything had been as revenge for one thing or another, and naturally Snape had struck back and than the process repeated itself as a never ending circle. Sirius contemplated on lighting up another cigarette after he remembered that he had stubbed the last one out. Taking James into consideration he decided against it, at least until the room filtered adequetly of all the leftover smoke, Sirius knew that the smell and the smoke could be a nuisance he had been new to smoking once years ago and both had had a negative effect on his then virgin lungs.

[James Potter]

"I bet she will and it will be after you blow up a cauldron in her face because you are positively horrible at potions, Prongs."

James looked thoughtful for a moment, running over the possibilities in his head. He wondered briefly if that would really work, getting Lily to pay more attention to him... Though of course he wouldn't want to harm her, he'd just maybe slip and make the thing start smoking or turn green or something. Or, better yet, he could totally wreck their project the night before and they'd have to stay up late doing it all over again....

Unconsciously, a grin was spreading across his features, a mischievous glint in his hazel eyes. "Not a bad idea." he voiced, passing his look of amusement to Sirius. Knowing Padfoot, he'd understand why James was looking so pleased with himself. It was part of the great bond they'd managed to create the past few years they'd been best friends.

"We'll have to find the greasy git later and make up for all the lost time that we could have been taunting him."

Instantly, excitement and adrenaline flooded through James's veins. "Indeed we shall." he declared with a wry grin, and hopped off the sink to pace. Usually, he paced when trying to get an idea of a prank or some other joke to pull. "We can't turn his nose green again, the stupid idget will have figured out it's us by now." he mused, deep in thought. "I want to do something involving the Giant Squid."

[Sirius Black]

Sirius laughed loudly at James's intentions of turning his joke into a reality, of course James would've found someway for Sirius's bad advice to work in his favor, he always did. "You're going to have to tell me how that one works out." Sirius replied bluntly already knowing that James was scheming his next huge intentionally bad mess up which in his fantasies would be involving Evans falling into his arms perhaps feeling faint due to all the smoke that James was conjuring out of the cauldron which was brewing the horribly distorted version of whatever potion he was supposedly trying his hardest to concoct.

Sirius leaned his head against the white tiled walls, the cold tile reflecting dully against the jet black hair splayed messily over it's owner's face. The mention of Snivellius had brought a decent conversation around now, they could have fun scheming their next move for fifteen or so minutes. Whenever Snivellius was concerned the same thing never worked twice, especially since repeats were never usually deemed comical, that was what James and Sirius thought at least and the whole school agreed with them. They had found this out the hard way years earlier when they cracked the same prank twice - not only did it guarantee few laughs, but it also guaranteed that they were caught the second time around. That hadn't really been a laugh especially since detention had been given in doubles because they had been found out the first time around too. "Hmm." Sirius tried to think, his mind was still a bit clogged as his was still smelling the cigarette that he had had from earlier on himself and around the room. The smoke had cleared out considerably since Prongs had opened the window, but the craving had yet to be kicked. When it remained it usually meant that there was too much stuff on his mind, and Sirius knew this to be true right now, talking about pranking Snviellious would definitely clear his mind some. Thankful for the distraction, Sirius put his brillance to work, giant squid, giant squid, what could you do with one?

"It's a shame that the giant squid won't eat Snivellius, although I don't blame him much, I wouldn't want that thing in my mouth either after where it's been." Sirius replied, practically howling with laughter at his own joke. Even though the prospect of laughing at your own joke seemed rather cocky, Sirius rarely did it around anyone except James for he felt comfortable knowing his friend well enough as he had he would probably consider that funny too.

[James Potter]

"You're going to have to tell me how that one works out."

James merely nodded almost absently, entertaining ideas of the lovely redheaded girl swooning and falling into his arms. Or maybe even yelling at him. She was so cute when she yelled...

Shaking his head a bit, out of his reveire, he grinned at Sirius. "Of course."

"It's a shame that the giant squid won't eat Snivellius, although I don't blame him much, I wouldn't want that thing in my mouth either after where it's been."

James snorted loudly at this, slaping his knee, his shoulders shaking from the force of his laughter. "Merlin." he gasped out, his eyes dancing. "The poor squid..." he mused as his laughter died down. His eyes drifted over to his friend, and a wave of happines spread over him, though he'd never admit it. Literally, Sirius Black was his best friend. Sure he had Moony and Wormtail and a few others that were his best, but none would ever be as close to him as Sirius.

"My dad died." he said suddenly, and immediately confusion washed over him. Where did that come from? He hadn't been planning ont elling anyone... Not even Lily, who found out by accident. Swallowing loudly, James stood up abruptly and wlaked over to the window opposite from where they were sitting. It was small, and broken, but it gave him and excuse to not look at Sirius for a moment. He didn't know if he could face him. The reality of what was going on outside of Hogwarts' walls were really beginning to get to him. The untimely death of his father just made things more... real.

[Sirius Black]

So one minute they were laughing, discussing ways to mess with Snivellius, talking about James's latest obsession of the moment - Evans and the next ... he was....talking about death. And that was just how quickly things changed in the dream world that Sirius had constructed for himself, the one where none of his parents comments of his younger years stung him much, or even how the words that were meant to insult him now-a-days never reached reached his ears. The situation seemed so skewed that Sirius wondered one moment if this was a dream, but than he realized that this was all very real and he was really here. What do you tell someone who's just told you that their dad died? That was the most trivial question of the moment as Sirius's grey eyes were immediately downcast towards the black and white alternating tiles of the bathroom floor. "I-I--I'm sorry James." And just like that the fragile dream world that they had constructed for themselves had shattered, all hope that had lay in the distorted reality known as Hogwarts was momentarily forgotten as death struck down those dreams. There was a shutter to Sirius's tone, one that no one would ever attest to hearing because the teenager was known for his smooth talking tirades, but today he seemed speechless. That was the first time in a while that he had spoken James's real name, real names were used when things got serious, nicknames were used when they were just joking around. Right now things were serious, time had stopped, and so had the majority of Sirius's other thoughts. How could you comfort a friend over such a great lose?

Sirius didn't know what it felt like losing a parent, nor did he know what it felt like to lose a parent that you loved because he had never truly had any parents to lose in the first place - sure he had people who had conceived and given birth to him but they didn't feel the remotest attachment at all. In fact they'd probably sooner see him dead than flourishing at the age of seventeen. Such was the life of Sirius Black, who now sat in the same smoke-smelling bathroom as James Potter, his best friend, his best friend who had just lost his father and Sirius didn't know what to say. Was he supposed to have all the answers, was he supposed to be the hand of comfort, or was he just supposed to be there if he were needed. Sirius didn't know, he didn't know what loving a parent felt like, so how would he know what happened when that special bond was severed in death? All this contemplating gave Sirius's craving for another cigarette an intensifying degree which he battled fiercely for James's sake, knowing how much his friend hated the smoke. When he drew his grey eyes away from the tiles on the floor, he realized that James had retreated to the small window and now appeared to be hanging out of it. What to say, what to say. Sirius still couldn't believe it, he had met James's father on several occasions when he visited Godric's Hollow, and never once would he have imagined him to die at such a young age. He had looked...well healthy. He was tempted to ask how it had happened, but he didn't want to probe because James still seemed in such a fragile state. As a best friend, Sirius was supposed to be providing comfort rather than drudging up the disturbing event, and he kept this in mind as he fought away the question. "If it helps any.....he was a good person, I'd imagine that he's in a better place now." Sirius's words were a bit shaky, the saddened shock was apparent in his soft grey eyes. Since when was Sirius Black religious? Since James Potter's father died of course, because he needed to reinstate that same frail hope into the conversation, the kind that would make everything better that would allow them to share that subtle peace again.

The craving for tabacco prevailed as James hung out the window nearby, Sirius waited for the tension in the air to evaporate, but for him it felt thicker than the smoke blanket that he had created earlier. Reaching into his pocket he quickly extracted a cigarette from the pack and shoved it into the side of his mouth while shakily lighting it. The lighter was thrown back into his pocket as he slowly took the first pull off of the cigarette, his grey eyes still stuck to the spot on the wall where there had appeared to be some magically drawn greffti. He didn't know what else to say. Sirius's words hung in the air, suspended like the smoke he was currently exhaling in the opposite direction of the window which James was still hanging out of. He was distrubed by this news, if James's dad was allowed to die than how much crueler could this higher being get?

[James Potter]

"I-I--I'm sorry James."

Sirius was struggling for words. James Potter had reduced Sirius Black to stuttering. Had the situation been different, James would've laughed at him and maybe teased it about it later or messed up his hair. But now was not the time for such things; now was the time to be serious with Sirius. Yet another thing he would've laughed at on a different day. "Thanks." he croaked, pushing his hand rather quickly through his already untidy black hair. He wasn't crying, no of course not, but there seemed to be a rather large lump of emotions settled firmly in his throat, making his adam's apple feel like a marble next to a Quaffle.

The faint smell of smoke drifting into James's range of sense and he turned slightly to face his friend, a light frown etched across his face. He knew that Sirius smoked when he was stressed or upset about something, and James felt a bit guilty for provoking that within him. The news of his dad's death must've really gotten to him. James knew this his father had welcomed Sirius into their home with open arms, not caring about his friend's questionable family name or background. It must've been nice for Sirius to know that he could always go to the Potter home and be accepted, when that was impossible to come by with his own parents. James cracked a small, sad smile. "He really liked you, Sirius." he said after a moment. "Always said the best things about you. Said he wished sometimes you would've moved in with us in the summer." James allowed a light chuckle to pass his lips. Maybe before, if it was this time a few days ago he would've had to hide his tears. But today, oddly enough, it wasn't as hard as he thought it would be, and he was actually glad he'd waited to tell Sirius. He'd wanted to tell him first, actually, but then he'd found Lily... and then Remus had followed him to the pub that night... Everything was just happening so fast.

Suddenly, he realized that he offered no explanation to his friend about the circumstances involving his father's death. Clearing his throat a bit, he turned around, still close to the window for ventilation purposes. "He was killed." he said, with a light strain in his voice but otherwise seemed perfectly composed. Maybe he was. "He saved Mum. She's okay, she's in hiding." It was easier to talk about this with Sirius than it had been even with Lily. The bond between Padfoot and Prongs was strong.

"If it helps any.....he was a good person, I'd imagine that he's in a better place now."

James allowed a small smile to twitch at the corners of his lips. Pushing off from the wall, he took his place once again at Sirius' side, nodding once, gratefully. "Thanks, mate." he responded, following Sirius' gaze to the wall in front of him. "If such a place does exsist, he'd be the first one in line." James' smile was brighter now.

[Sirius Black]

Sirius could only begin to try and imagine how hard this was on James, since it had been his father, and Sirius knew that there was supposedly a certain bond between a father and a son - or at least that's what he had been told. He had seen that unspoken bond on many a night when he had stayed at the Potters, it had appeared between James and his father, the cursory glances thrown across the table during Mrs. Potter's remarks, or even during the holidays when things seemed like they were getting hectic. True, Sirius himself had been there often, since he had a passionate hate for his own family and the Potters had a generous heart and a large enough home to accomodate him he took the opportunity, but somehow Sirius still felt like he was intruding. He was a stranger staring through a window looking upon a remote scene that was to far off from unfamiliar for him to place. He felt a confused rush of emotions knotting themselves neatly around his veins, as he too felt like he needed to grieve over the lose of James's father. He found himself now wishing that his own father had been the one instead - the bastard that didn't even consider Sirius a son anymore, nor did he put much consideration into his anyone as a person unless they bore the sign of pure and untainted blood. Why couldn't the man who had nearly denied him a future been the one to die? Why did all the good people in the world, the people like Mr. Potter have to die? The world would only get that much worse with their prescence extinguished because now the only influence they would create would be that of a white marble headstone marking an empty shell six feet under. How cruel things were.

The cigarette smoke was now drifting up towards the ceiling again, engulfing Sirius and his own thoughts. He could barely believe the conversation that they had been having, and here he was hours ago sitting alone daydreaming about how he would break the news to James. He was being kicked out of his house - scratch that - he had been kicked out of his house. A nasty howler had confirmed that last week after Regulus had administered his latest set of reports to his parents. They no longer wanted anything to do with him, they wanted him out for the eighth time that year. He was sure that they would fluctuate again and he would be "welcomed" home after a few rounds of some nasty curses and perhaps a black eye or two, but than weeks later he would be discarded again. It was a never ending process and Sirius was contemplating a way of finally putting an end to all the misery it was causing him. So the idea had sprung up one day innocent enough - why not ask to move in with the Potters? He could run away to the Potter home and remain there for a year, he'd pay rent, he'd do anything that they asked of him. Last time he had visited him, they had told him that their house was always open if he needed a place to stay. He had remembered their warm smiles, the way that they had actually given him a second look when he spoke at the dinner table or just walking through the halls in the morning. It had felt more like home than number 12 Grimmuald Place would ever be. That was where he had wanted to be, but now with the change of events he didn't think he could force such a subject upon James - not right now at least. He needed to give it some time, to let the idea of his father's death mingle in the air between them, to allow it to age and finally disappear to the very depths of their mind where it would fester and possibly collect dust as an overwhelmingly sad event. Yes, there was life after death but it would lose it's quality and flavor if there was one less thing to make it what it used to be.

Sirius remained silent when James recounted how his father had thought highly of him - it was touching, perhaps to touching because no Sirius felt tears threatening to spill - he kept his expression neutral refusing it to twist into anything else. Now there was the empty threat of emotion laying over his head as he took a fresh drag on his cigarette, he swallowed all hope of tears because they couldn't come - not now, he had to appear strong. Grey eyes glittered a little bit more than they usually did with the pent emotion that was willing to break like a dam would any minute. But Sirius resisted harshly and found himself taking a few too many pulls on his ow cigarette that he fell into a coughing fit that lasted no more than a few seconds.

A small smile had slipped across Sirius's face now, "That sounds like him. You're a lot like him, you know?" This statement might have not been aimmed to make James feel better, but it was just the way Sirius saw things. Like father like son right? Well it was a stereotype that was a little more so true when it came to James and his father, they seemed to think the same way a times. James seemed to be speaking easier now, he was smiling too, this gave Sirius the confidence to push aside the dry harsh emotions that was clawing at his throat now. The bitter taste of cigarette smoke was cutting out the potential rainstorm that had been brewing in the back of his grey eyes as he listened to James speak. Sirius tapped a small amount of grey ash off the edge of his cigarette as he thought about James's father's death. He had died protecting his wife - James's mother - which meant that there was still hope for a recovery from the situation because he had died saving someone's life which meant that it had been a meaningful death, one that would be well preserved in their minds. In a way he had been a hero, but Sirius had a feeling that James wouldn't be to eager to make that connection because even death without a purpose was still meaningful because everyone was living and dying for something.

[James Potter]

The silence between them seemed lighter, now, easier, though he noticed that Sirius seemed nearly overcome with emotion. It was rather easy to tell, of course having been practically attached to his side for the past six years. For one thing, as James cast a passing glance to a friend, he may not have realized it, but he was going slightly cross-eyed. Normally James would've grinned, but that told him that Sirius was trying to keep his emotional control in check. He knew perfectly well how embarrassing and irritating it was to cry, at least in front of other people. No matter how close the two were, crying just wasn't really a thing you did in front of your best friend. James thought maybe once he'd let a tears slip when they'd just barely managed to scrape beating Slytherin and winning the Quidditch Cup in their fourth year, but maybe Sirius hadn't noticed. But then again it was Quidditch and that was different. James hadn't even shed tears in front of Lily, no matter how much he'd wanted to. He had to be strong now.

"That sounds like him. You're a lot like him, you know?"

A smile spread across his features now, and he nodded, once, tossing a glance at Sirius. "Thanks, mate." he said lightly. He placed his hand on Sirius' shoulder briefly, giving it a light shake, before letting his hand drop and his gaze drift to watch the smoke curling upward, spiraling. Was he truly as much like his dad as Sirius said? He had to be. James and his father had always gotten along, maybe more-so than he and his mother. After all, his mother absolutely detested Quidditch; if it hadn't been for his father, James might have never been on the team. James and his father agreed on nearly everything, usually teaming up against his mother and Elizabeth when they played any sort of game or even had a rather lively "debate". Another word of course, for argument. James wondered if one day he too, would have the courage to save his wife and children from certain death, even if it meant sacrificing his own life... Yes, he would. He knew he would. He'd risk his own skin a million times over to save his mum and Elizabeth, the Marauders, Lily, Ripley, Delilah and Jen... all of them, he'd put his own life on the line to ensure their safety. Maybe they really were alike after all.

Snapping out of his own, quiet thoughts to observe his somewhat pensive friend, James felt a bit relieved that Sirius seemed to have temporarily overcome his almost emotional breakdown. James knew what he must've been worried about. "You're still coming over for the holidays if you fancy." he promised with a light smile, knowing that Sirius always jumped at the chance to go to the Potter's. "Don't worry. Mum's relocated from Surrey to Little Whinging and she's got a Fidelus Charm and a Secret Keeper... you know, just in case. But I've already written her and asked; she sends you love and an invitation to visit, like usual. She also sent a couple of muffins, but I think I already ate them, sorry, mate." he grinned sheepishly. He hoped that this would lighten the mood a bit, and help to comfort his friend, whom at the moment seemed nearly as lost as James himself was.

[Sirius Black]

The tension was splitting and it was no longer so heavy in the air that it had resembled Sirius's smoke from the cigarette. No, the air was lighter now, and James had seemed to have realized it too. For this Sirius was grateful, he was happy that things had been said and that the mood was loosening up again, he could deal with the grief later. He stashed it aside, allowing the feeling to lag behind a little in his throat as he took another rather large drag of his cigarette, pulling the smoke deep into the confines of his chest. There was no doubt that he was going to die young now, not a doubt in his mind because of all his bad habits and just the general way he lived - he loved taking risks and that might have been what would kill him.

James was talking again, "No problem." Sirius responded, the strain had almost all but left his voice, as he was starting to feel a little better. James wasn't breaking down as much as he would've supposed that he would, there was something strange about this whole situation. Perhaps the news was old, maybe by days, or by monthes? No, it couldn't be that old, James and him were best friends, he would've been the first to know about it than the rest of the marauders would know and than anyone else that James would find fancy in telling. That was the way it usually was, so why would it be any different now, especially since the information was so..... fragile. Sirius straightened up a little bit as he slowly found himself regaining conscienciousness and his own composure which had been momentarily beyond his grasp. It was not the end of the world yet, his best friend had just lost his father, but that didn't mean that Sirius couldn't have the strength to be strong because he obviously might have needed someone to talk to.

The mood grew even lighter as James had mentioned that Sirius could still come and visit for the holidays. He sighed in relief, which wasn't as audible as he would've imagined it to be because it was disguised in the form of exhaling a puff of smoke. There was something that he would have to tell James, but he could tell him later, there was no need to bother him with more useless information not when he was freshly mourning the loss of his father. That was something that Sirius couldn't do to his friend, not at this moment at least, once the time came he knew he could tell James that he was finally being thrown out on the street for good. For now he would hold his silence though, perhaps the next time after they torchured Snivellius he could say something because that would provide a good break through period, at least than they would both be smiling even if the news might have not have been that great. Sirius smiled gratefully, he could always count on James to save him during the holidays, "I'm glad that they are alright." The Potter's had been a safe haven of his for years during the holidays and sometimes a week or so before school returned because his parents had never liked having him around much and Sirius rather hated being around himself. Even though they did detest James Potter and the rest of the Potters, they allowed him to go on the single provision that the Potters were a pureblood family, and at least he wasn't going to hang around with some 'dirty mudblood.'

Sirius chuckled lightly at the mention of the muffins that Mrs. Potter had sent, "Don't worry Prongs." He took another drag on his cigarette with less intensity now, things were beginning to get peaceful again even with the empty feeling of James's dad's death still hanging over their heads.